"Maybe you should give us a quick sample of your humour right here so we can assess your bookability . . .
Pep ( . . . and you can decide if we are your sort of audience.)"
"I have heard that clothing shops around American bases did a roaring trade in a line called Quick Release Underwear, which were sold with the advertising slogan "One Yank And They Come Off".
Pep (is not old enough to verify this personally.)"
Regarding your edit explanation [about tilting at windmills]: Did I mention my real life surname is O'Tay, and that because I am so well-endowed my school nickname was Donkey?
Pep (tries to live up to his soubriquet.)
. . . lies in the unconditional acceptance of one who pongs, farts, belches and picks his nose.
Pep (has just realised why all those women are still vainly chasing after him.)"
As Pep (Psvengali) would say, feel free to add some of your own collected Pepisms in the comments section below.